Father’s Rights Groups Let Their True Colors Show
Read the Op-Ed by Trish Wilson who runs blog, and who is no stranger to the upside down world of father’s rights groups and the case of Darren Mack. To emphasize once again the poor job the media is doing on this story, please read my past post on the subject and the op-ed below. Intimate partner violence and the role father’s rights groups played in the Mack case are an essential part of the story. The media missed a real opportunity to inform and educate the public on these two issues.
Darren Mack, a wealthy resident of Reno, Nevada, stabbed his wife to death and shot the judge hearing his divorce case. This case has been the talk of fathers’ rights forums. Fathers’ rights groups state that they are only concerned with helping dads see their children. Their comments on Internet forums have shown the public the truth – that these men blame the court system for when angry men harass, attack, and murder. These men also blame feminism and ex-wives for supposedly setting up a system that discriminates against men.
Fathers’ rights activists lobby for presumptive joint custody (a. k. a. shared parenting). They also seek to reduce protections for battered women. They want laws that would lower their child support obligations. They claim that courts discriminate against fathers. The court system may discriminate in isolated cases against men, but overall it does not. Most divorcing couples settle their cases without needing a judge to make their decisions for them. These couples agree that the mother should have sole custody of the children because they recognize that she had been the primary caregiver of the children from the beginning. In the cases where fathers make an issue of custody, they get some form of it more than half the time. Most of the time they get joint legal custody, but there are more cases today where fathers are able to get joint physical custody. These contested cases make only about 10% of all divorces, but they include “problem” cases like domestic violence and child abuse, power and control issues, personality disorders, mental problems, and alcohol and drug abuse. This minority is not representative of most divorces.
Fathers rights activists have supported and excused what Darren Mack had done. The message they are sending is that if their demands are not met, there will be more violent episodes. These statements from Internet forums need to be shown so that the public knows that fathers’ rights activists are not concerned with children or with fair outcomes in divorce.
Randy Dickinson is vice-president of the Coalition of Fathers and Families in New York. This group supports a presumption for joint physical custody, a. k. a. shared parenting. A recent shared parenting bill had died in committee, much to the consternation of fathers’ rights activists. Dickinson had written a letter to legislators about fathers’ rights. He included an Associated Press story about the Mack shooting. In his letter, he quoted John F. Kennedy, saying that, “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver took this as a threat, and the State Police were called. Dickinson tried to excuse what he had done, but he spoke another threat. He said “they cannot continue to ignore our issues and refuse to provide any relief or accommodation, without encouraging violence from those more inclined to express their frustration and anger in that manner.” The quote, he said, “was meant to emphasize that one of their own heroes and an icon of the Democratic Party warned them that the lid cannot be kept on people’s passions forever, without expecting trouble.”
The messaqe is loud and clear – do what we demand or face the consequences.
The following message, from Nevada Parent, who is a leader of a Nevada fathers’ rights group, wrote “The NEW TERRORISM! Judge Chuck Weller of Washoe County Family Court has people (both men & women) running from his courtroom in TERROR. He threatens to take your children, your freedom, your property! Weller uses whatever tactics to force you to submit to his imperial demands and tyrannical orders. Every story from each person that I have talked to in my investigation has similar experience. They are terrorized and don’t understand why he is being so aggressive when they’ve done nothing wrong. Does Weller ever rule on the law or does he just rule on his whims? Contact Nevadans for Equal Parenting by clicking the link or by email to begin a dialog in Washoe County [...]”
Angry men are also posting at the fathers’ rights Usenet group alt.child-support. One had commented that “[y]ou start persecuting men, you’re only asking for trouble. Maybe all these CS agency workers should start wearing bullet proof vests to work?” Another had written, “Why? Headshots are harder. Much more satisfying I’ll grant you, but much, much harder to get on a first shot.” A third commenter had written, “My guess is that for every one that actually goes through with a shooting, there are many thousands who have considered it, and probably quite a few who actually locked & loaded only to back down at the last moment. Makes you wonder how many of these maggots wearing the black robe have come about as close to death as one can get and haven’t a clue.”
Men at the fathers’ rights forum Stand Your Ground had also written in support of Mack, saying that when fathers’ rights demands aren’t met that the public should expect such violent reactions. One of the most unsettling comments applauded Mack’s actions. The commenter wrote “I applaud these kinds of actions. Men and Fathers are at war with their respective governments. If the “enemy” is to sit up and take notice, there must be casualties. Very few of the enemy have suffered casualties; most deaths on our side have been in their jails, or through suicide from those that have surrendered. Those that experience collatoral damage end up homeless and/or in Rescue Missions. I’ve thought of the violence angle; violent fathers and such and I don’t believe that applies in judge shootings. These incidents make it more expensive for these black robed thugs to operate their fiefdoms. Now they have to buy bullet proof glass. Darren Mack, if you are the shooter, I salute you. Any law enforcement officials reading this; while I support these actions against black robed thugs and jack-booted cops, I don’t encourage any father/husband to waste their own life in this fashion. I would be proud if you were to add my name to any “Patriot” database maintained by your department.” Another commenter sought to blame feminism for the shooting. He wrote, “Repeating my favorite mantra here: “…Feminism made this happen. Feminism made this happen. Feminism made this happen. Feminism made this happen. Feminism made…..” But repeating the mantra isn’t enough. In all such cases, one must ascertain exactly HOW feminism made X happen, so that it can be made known to the rest of the world at the same time that you are chanting the mantra. As it is written:”By their fruits ye shall know them.” We must be able to identify the Fruits of Feminism, and say exactly WHY they are the Fruits of Feminism, and…establish the linkage in the public mind — clearly and distinctly. And not just the DNA continuity of the ideological fabric, but the actual causitive nexus — the actual agents and operators. For example, the situation we are discussing here (apparently) grows straight out of the Bradley Amendment of 1986, which was a direct outcome of efforts made by people clearly identifiable as feminist ….wasn’t it? Thus, the Bradley Amendment, and the Reno courthouse situation, are both clearly identifiable as the Fruits of Feminism….aren’t they? I think that we must train ourselves to think this way.”
The Alliance For Non-Custodial Parents blog also included supportive statements. ANCPR was founded by Lowell Jaks, who spent time in jail for kidnapping his son. ANCPR included a statement demanding shared parenting and no child support to prevent such actions from happening in the future. The following message was posted at ANCPR:
“Extreme prejudice against the spouse or parent who earns the most income may well be the common factor in this shooting in Reno Today. We talked to members of the same Fathers Rights group of Reno, which Darren Mack belonged to, and they all agreed, that this kind of violence would NOT happen, ifŠ IFŠ
1. Judges gave Both parents equal time with their children,
2. No involuntary child support was ordered, because each
parent would ³support² the child when they had the child.”
Here is a small sampling of the comments that were left on the ANCPR blog by fathers’ rights activists:
The fact that judges have immunity from prosecution is criminal and a complete farce.
These scumbag judges act under the color of law knowingly violating the Constitutional rights of the litigants. Only when someone becomes completely despondent that they take the law into their own hands and serve justice on their tormenters.
—
There¹s only one wat to stop this nonsense! Stop paying!
—
The harder the courts pushes people the harder they will push back. This bastard judge lived – this time. Next time he will not be that lucky. And there will be a next time because he is a bigot. Eventually, he¹ll push another person to the brink and they will kill him. Unfortunately, this is the only way a victim of this the family court can get justice – by killing the judge.
—
This judge all like him get absolutely no sympathy from me. Here¹s a solution: Have judges in family court (now there¹s a contradiction in terms) only limited to five year terms and and for every complaint against them such as violating someone¹s due process because it helps the custodial parent then they aren¹t allowed to work for a year; hey, better yet, sned the jackass/bitch to jail for three months for each and every violation accrued to be run consequetively. Then maybe they won¹t be so eagar to assholes.
—
I do not condone this type of retaliation. However ³you reap what you sow² and evidently this judge had it coming. I am in this very situation in Tennessee. I am paying $1005 per month to the child¹s mother whom I was not married to, while she does not work but fishes and hunts 10 to 18 days per month. (Yes she¹s a lesbian now.) All the while I have the child more than half the time??? I am being rail roaded as we speak. I will fight it tooth and nail until it is settled fairly. I will not however shoot the judge. God¹s vengeance will be much worse than anything I could do.
—
Of course it¹s not justifiable. I don¹t think it¹s absolution WarriorPoet, but rather it¹s ³I told you do² Or ³it¹s been in the making². People have been telling people that this type of thing is going to happen. Men have snapped over the system and have lossed everything and have gone to extreme ways of veangance.
—
Judges and attorneys should take note and watch their backŠThis is only the beginningŠIt takes this kind of extreme to deal with another extremeŠAnd for those dirty judges and cock roach vampire attorneys who look upon men/fathers as only a paycheck, not people with ³rights² hahaha/just mention rights and the law in a court and see how fast you are told to pay moreŠ You assholes (and you KNOW who you are) that make up the law as you see fit, this could just be your future coming to a place near you soonŠvery soonŠ and more oftenŠ.
—
The real glitch is that justices will hand out even more PFA¹s like candy now. Soon to be ex husbands will be considered armed and dangerous. Incidents like this can and might have an adverse affect on allot of us men out here.
The public needs to know how harmful fathers’ rights activists really are. These men are not concerned with the welfare of children. They are angry and vindictive. They recommend that domestic violence protections be gutted with claims that women frequently fabricate false allegations of domestic violence and child abuse. Bona fide false allegations are rare; no more common in the context a divorce or custody case than they are in the general population. Fathers’ rights activists also promulgate the myth that men and women are equally abusive. The vast majority of victims of domestic violence are women. Fathers’ rights activists seek to get out of paying child support, which they claim is too high. In fact, on average, fathers contribute only 19% of their incomes to their children’s households. It should be made clear to reasonable people that anyone who supports what Darren Mack had done does not have the best interests of children in mind. Fathers who need help in their divorces and custody cases should steer clear of fathers’ rights groups. Those groups only incite anger. Good fathers deserve better than that.
Similar Posts:
Enjoy this post? Leave a comment below or . You also can sign up for email delivery by .
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
[...] And what’s a week without another threatening letter from the fathers’ rights contingent? So Mike Nance, are you saying that domestic abuse stems from inequality? The world of justice has no place for people like you. Oh, and why put “kid’s lives” in quotation marks? That’s creepy. // [...]
Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
I heard a way crazy rumor about this case. I won’t say it cause it’s totally unfounded, but would be quite juicy if true.
Thanks for publishing my op-ed, Myrna. Fathers’ rights activists sure have shown how little they care about the welfare of children with their comments about this case. Now, they’re making excuses and backpedaling on their web sites regarding these ugly statements. They can’t hide. They’re on the record.
I’ve heard some crazy rumors myself. I have a feeling there are going to be all kinds of crazy things said as this case progresses.
Right on, Trish.
Yes, by their fruits you will know them, and their own words condemn them. Demands, acts or threats of mayhem, intimidation, stalking, terrorizing, scorched earth litigation, and other coercive, abusive, and / or illegal acts are, indeed, characteristics of the typical m.o. of this truly small, but very problematic slice of the population of fathers in this country. As one very fine male friend of mine (and I have many fine male friends) put it, “These guys make me ashamed to be a member of the male gender.”
Shame for having a penis?
Please. No group, no matter how ridiculous, has that kind of power. That’s like saying “The Nazis make me ashamed of my race.”
They’re better to make fun of when we don’t identify with them.
Your comment got blocked again because you used the word penis…gives a new meaning to “cock blocking” doesnt it?
“The media missed a real opportunity to inform and educate the public on these two issues.”
Somehow I doubt it.
Well, they either missed it or ignored it. The opportunity was there.
I feel you misunderstand my response. Trish Wilson hasn’t got access to the real facts. Read her blog she has no job is into making sex toys and probably feels that the best way to promote this is to slam all Fathers.
Don’t get taken in by it we need each other both men and women. People like Trish are out to make a fast buck on our misery.
Remember I do not ask for money/donations. Ever.
All of those quotes that I made in that article are accessible on the forums I had cited. I didn’t make them up. Those quotes speak for themselves. Those are also only some of the quotes. There are many more where they came from, and they are just as ugly. Father’s rights activists are doing a bang up job discrediting themselves. I’ve also seen new articles and comments that are not only as bad but worse. Father’s rights activists continue to make excuses for what Darren Mack had done.
As for the personal attacks, I’m not interested.
I was trying to pretend as if you didn’t mean what I thought you did.
So I’ll say it again. “The media missed a real opportunity to inform and educate the public on these two issues.”
Let me try and help you a bit.
What excuses were made for Andrea Yates when she killed her 5 children?
Did Trish/Countess write about it? What’s more why does she delete comments that are reasonable and rational in their nature? Why with her own comments does she continually try to stir up trouble and encourage it from others if they attack Fathers? (look on her own blog for this)
Where are the Trish’s of this world reporting on all the Fathers who have committed suicide as a result of their lives being wrecked by a biased family court system?
I see your Andrea Yates and I’ll raise you one Mary Winkler. What excuses are feminists(and the legal process) making for this women who shot her husband in the back while he slept?
Feminist excuses for bad female behavior are an institution. MRA excuses for bad male behavior are an anomoly.
BTW, why doesn’t Trish quote Glen Sack’s complete condemnation for Darren Mack’s comments? Further why can’t Trish draw a distinction between trying to understand the context of someone’s actions and applauding them? Maybe it’s because feminists have made those two synonomous? A woman kills her husband. Claims she was battered. Unsubstantiated or not it becomes a context and then a way of applauding her actions. One more dead “battering” man down, 3 billion to go!
“Darren Mack’s comments” should be “Darren Mack’s actions”.
I dont usually delete comments but there’s always a first time……consider this a warning.
Trish has no credibility criticizing anyone on parents’ rights.
Here’s her deal:
Her son lives with his father who’s paid for ALL of his education as well.
Trish still COLLECTS child support from the boy’s father even though he doesn’t even live with her anymore.
That’s right Trish collects child support from the household where her son lives and spends it on herself.
For Trish Wilson, it’s all about the money.
Myrna, just so you know, some of those nasty comments are coming from people from Stand Your Ground. I quoted comments from Stand Your Ground supportive of Darren Mack in my editorial.
The best they can do is attack me and bring up Andrea Yates, who has nothing to do with the Mack case. I’m not going to pay attention to the personal attacks. They aren’t worth it.
I know–I can see the referral site. I try to keep this place open but am going to delete any offensive comments.
You call them personal attacks I call them observations that give insight to you the person behind all of this nastiness.
You are also a very stupid person if you haven’t noticed the changes in law that are now happening around the world and if feminists like yourself and others had campaigned for just and equal laws in the first place instead of only making sure you were at the head of the queue with your snouts in the trough then none of this would have happened.
Shame on you.
You would make a better case if you stuck to empirical evidence. But maybe that’s the problem.
Here are some more facts about intimate partner homicide:
* On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. In 2000, 1,247 women were killed by an intimate partner. The same year, 440 men were killed by an intimate partner.
* Women are much more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner. In 2000, intimate partner homicides accounted for 33.5 percent of the murders of women and less than four percent of the murders of men.17
* Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause, and evidence exists that a significant proportion of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners.
* Research suggests that injury related deaths, including homicide and suicide, account for approximately one-third of all maternal mortality cases, while medical reasons make up the rest. But, homicide is the leading cause of death overall for pregnant women, followed by cancer, acute and chronic respiratory conditions, motor vehicle collisions and drug overdose, peripartum and postpartum cardiomyopthy, and suicide.
Statistics on intimate partner homicide from the Bureau of Justice Statistics for 1993-2001.
So what’s your point? They are your feminist inspired laws that are in place.
Why don’t you add the figures on child murders? What about abortion?
oh and while you at it see if if you can find the stats related to all the Fathers who have committed suicide as a result of being driven from their children and their lives destroyed.
Myma I do apologise for becoming so angry but I urge not to take this Trish Wilson at face value. She is a troublemaker and the last thing either gender needs is people like her. I urge you now to not subscribe to her view and damage yet more lives.
If the government collects that evidence I can find it. What’s more, I believe in research and evidence. But this thread is long gone stale. I appreciate the apology but maybe your own forum is the best place to continue this arugment. I am fully aware of the statistics available regarding domestic violence and intimate partnet homicide. And what those statistics say is that men hurt women much more often women hurt men, particularly when they are pregnant. I don’t think there is good research on reasons for suicide but if there are, you can find them pretty easily on the web, although its likely to be psychiatric studies.
Another thing I am aware of is that men committ familicide more often than women so arguments bringing up Yates and others don’t make any points except that you don’t know about the research that’s out there. Although the US has not done a large scale study like the Brits (
dalywilson/FamilicideSpouseChildren.pdf+familicide+statistics+national+united+states&hl=en&gl=
us&ct=clnk&cd=1&client=firefox-a) some research has been done:
;
dopt=Abstract
I never accept anyone at face value–I always do my research and would not have published the op-ed unless I found it to be of value and interest.
I am in favor of open and honest debates–but not insults. Its beneath all of us.
Feminism now reaps what it has sown.
We are angry, and we are being heard.
Ah, so feminism causes men to kill women. I’m glad someone finally explained it all to me. What a fearsome world you live in to be so afraid of women. Women on the other hand actually have good reason to be afraid of men. Considering the rate at which you beat us and kill us, we’d be stupid not to. That’s what your anger breeds.
Where do you get the idea that feminism equals women? It does nothing of the sort.
How you could believe a bunch of stats produced by an administration that sent men to war on a lie is beyond me.
However anyone who had the ability and intelligence would have realised these stats would be the work of a group with a hidden agenda. It’s the same that happened in the UK.
Finally the evidence shows that women abuse children at a higher rate than men but we don’t like to talk about that do we?
Duh…..honestly, if you dont think feminism, that is that both men an women are equally deserving of all rights and liberties as human beings, is a good thing–what’s the point? Seriously, its not a revolutionary concept.
This adminstration did not collect those statistics….they’ve been collected for decades by the federal government at the level where people dont intefere–they just may choose not to publish them sometimes.
And those statistics you mention about women abusing children at a higher rate than men? Put out by Father’s rights groups who most definitely have an agenda…Are you kidding me? Its also funny how you never source.
Anyway, I can’t provide a space for people to make accusations without empirical evidence…Its been interesting