The Latest Celebrity Not Visiting Las Vegas: George Bush

In yesterday’s Reno Gazette Journal it was reported that President George W. Bush will be visiting Reno on October 2nd to provide Dean Heller’s Senate campaign an apparently much needed cash infusion. It seems that little ole Jill Derby has the national Republicans on the run. Its been a busy month for Reno as far as Bush Administration celebrities zipping in and out of town. What I wouldn’t give to see how much the recent campaign, uh, I mean test of mid-election strategies, uh, I mean goodwill tour stops made by Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Bush will end up costing tax payers? The three visits combined could surely add up to around a $ 1 million bucks since Air Force One alone costs $57,000-an-hour.

But for just $2,100, you can be a celebrity too and have your photo taken with the President. It seems a small price to pay for a piece of history. Just think, you can commemorate your moment in the spotlight with the man already set to go down in history as the worst president in U.S. history. I’m sure you all realize what an accomplishment that is. It takes a lot of hard work. “It’s hard work. It’s incredibly hard.” You can’t just stumble into being the worst president in history. You have to dream up policies and wars the American people strongly oppose, and then fiercely defend them over and over and over again–evidence and the wisdom of the American people be damned. You must do something monumental like sqaunder the goodwill of the citizenry who lined up behind you in support after 9/11. You must never, ever admit you made a mistake, and if you do so by accident, just pretend you thought that way all along. You must divide and conquer unapologetically, using religious and moral values to turn Americans against each other. You must favor the rich in your fiscal policies and diminish the means with which poor and middle class Americans improve their economic situations. You must take a federal surplus and turn it into a deficit so large, no one can comprehend it. You must deny scientific evidence in the cases of global warming, women’s reproductive health and stem-cell research. You must demonstrate federal incompetence again and again so only the most determined ostriches can deny it. Above all, you must threaten the very foundations of our society by seeking to limit the power of Congress, the Constitution, and the Supreme Court. It truly is hard work and Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld excel at it.

I know that some Las Vegans are jealous over the latest celebrity to visit Reno, but honestly, I’d much rather see man cake Vince Vaughn.

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Hey! You guys even got a lovely, colorful invitation from Dean Heller! And you get to spend tax dollars on the motorcade! Everyone in Reno gets to pay for Hellers’ campaign fund-raising! You get all the fun!

Twat paddle, praddle, praddle

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