Houseboy For Sale, or I’m Not Preggers
After reading the bizarre, craft-induced post claiming I was with child, I confronted BH and he folded like a soggy deck of cards. He looked like Mark Phillappoussis, star of the hideous “Age of Love,” after finding out he had to date women over the age of 21 with IQs over 80–like he swallowed a bag of nails. Initially, he made a valiant effort to resist but no one can withstand the inflatable rubber sleep sack for long. In mere minutes the water works began and BH hysterically confessed that he had concocted the pathetic pregnancy lie because his manny aupair friends said I was fat. You can imagine what happened after I heard that. And that was just last night. Its no longer possible for us to live in the same house. I mean, if you can’t trust your houseboy, who can your trust? BH better figure out how to become a Surrender Houseboy real fast or I’m selling him to the highest bidder, pronto.
And while I’m here. Have I ever pointed out that David Byrne has a blog? You can learn many of the secrets of life including why George Clinton and P-Funk have a thing for spaceships and George Bush should be leery of aliens. Extremely useful.
To selected commenters:
- alt.johnny.doppleganger’s twin is a metrosexual
- I don’t believe in children Rory but I do believe in public schools–even if they’re rotten. I’d sooner have a baby than become a member of the Republican Party.
- Nikki, you bad, bad girl.
Okay, back to my hiatus…….masquerading Martha Stewarts beware the wrath of a falsely accused minx. Frickin’ crafters? The newest post-feminist trend to dilute feminism? I think not, although I could use a doily if you must knit me something. Sometimes BH’s mouthpiece just isn’t enough to muzzle his cries of “Aj, mina ögon!”
And don’t forget–Tuesday night is the best night on TV thanks to Kathy Griffin and Frontline.
One last thing. What on earth was Clinton’s campaign thinking by letting America pick the Celine Dion song? Everyone knows most American’s don’t have any taste. Its almost enough to make me take everything nice I’ve said about her back. I voted for “I’ll Take You There” by the Staple Singers–a far superior song. Oh, and thanks for the obscene crotch shot that will be forever etched on my brain Gleaner. “Aj, mina ögon!”
Hej då/Adjö for now….
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I am so relieved. But now I’m wondering where I send my cv for the HB position that may be opening up?
whew…you managed that one..the crafters? What is that a punk rock group that has nothing else to to but craft rumors about the mynx? Crafty enough to pull off a temporary takeover of your site?Whatever - it’s good to have your wit…. back on the blog. Poor Bjorn…he’s mr. milk toast for sure now.
whew…you managed that one..the crafters? What is that a punk rock group that has nothing else to to but craft rumors about the mynx? Crafty enough to pull off a temporary takeover of your site?Whatever - it’s good to have your wit…. back on the blog. Poor Bjorn…he’s mr. milk toast for sure now.
…clever, to say the least. Good to see you are still kicking, preggers or not!
Bjorn is going down! What a total asshole. You look fabulous!
What the hell did I do to get netted with the groupers and imbued with that freaky 2 cent stamp of homoambiguity? I mean, I listen to Morrissey and own a few pairs of Steve Maddens, but it’s not like I’m left-handed or anything totally gay like that. Frankly, I can’t afford to be a “metrosexual” as you people will not cease to call it. Throw that term in the trash along with “fauxhawk.” It’s 2007. I shaved off my Freddy Mercury ’stache back in 2003. The fauxhawk? Fall of 2002? I toast you using cheese cultured from Ann Coulter’s breast milk and a bottle of Pinot Noir from Robert Mondavi while watching Issac Mizrahi sketch naked boobies. Hold on, I’ve got to get my pocket vage out of the dishwasher. Later.
Propagating the species is so Republican! I see your point.
I just know what’ll get a good comment from you. By the way, I thought it was “fauxmo” not “fauxhawk?” Oh well, like they say on South Park: “We’re here. We’re not queer, but we’re close to it!”
“Propagating the species is so Republican!”
Yep ! I saw “Idiocracy” on DVD a few days ago. We’re definitely headed there!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy
I feel so used.
That’s what they all end up saying…
And here I was looking so forward to the news of a Mini Minx blessing Reno, NV with its presence. Maybe next time, huh?
I heard some neigborhood in Tahoe was on fire. I guess it’s a start. Like a round of aspirin in the leprosarium. Not much help, but it shows the gods are putting forth some effort.